This morning I was sad to see most of my family head back to school. I was pondering with my husband the night before, about how I take for granted the fact that we are together for EVERY holiday...break...snowday...vacation...summer...whatever. The kids are equally naive to the fact that other kids may or may not get to have both parents home for these occasions. God has indeed blessed our little family.
We were also pondering the sermon heard yesterday. It was very good. In fact I had to laugh a little. In a nutshell it was about the fact that your days are indeed numbered and that our main concern should be in making ourselves ready to meet our Maker. Whether we go or He comes. It wasn't exactly said like that...but that is my "nutshell". So we talked about how sometimes our lives seem so busy that our family devotions sometimes take a backseat...we have good intentions...but that is exactly the point. It wont matter what our intentions were...it matters what we really did! If we are too busy to have family devotions...then ....We are TOO BUSY! When it all comes down to it...nothing else matters than pleasing the Lord and following his commands. It was a good pondering. I didn't tell you the reason I had to laugh...I had been reading about the fact that the death of His saints is precious in Gods eyes...which I wanted to think on a little more...and then...this sermon.
Pondering in the shower. So earlier that morning...I did NOT want to wake up....I was SO exhausted...I looked in the mirror and there was purple underneath my eyes...I was really tired. I drug myself into the shower...and groaned. Then the kids started waking up...I made up my mind that I would be upbeat for them. So I started singing. The song I sang was Psalm 122 (I think that is the one.) Anyhow...the first verse is..."I was glad to hear them saying ...to the Lords house let us go..." Okay...fastforward to pondering. How many times do I wake up like that and feel like I just want to go back to bed? Am I ever REALLY excited to go like the psalmist is? I had some serious thinking to do on that. I enjoy church. I enjoy the sermon. Especially ones that are put together with the pastors sheep in mind. I felt guilty. I did not feel joy and gladness...I was incredibly selfish. All I could think of was myself, and not the object on whom that day was created for. Another good ponder. The Lord is good to open my eyes.
Now...early morning pondering today. So the two older kids got up and made themselves some hot chocolate and sat down to do some devotions of their own. At one point they were arguing with each other...finally Esther came to find me and ask me ...doesnt it say that God sews us? I realize she is talking about Him knitting us together in our mothers womb...and I try to explain...
Gayle is upset because nobody had devotions with her this morning...so I say hurry and get ready so we can do it before school. So we read Psalm 139. Anyhow...it is the very same verses that Esther was talking about.
Psalm 139 1-6 , 13-16
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me to attain.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
So I ...(we) pondered this. Ive read these verses tons of times...since I was little. Reading these things to Gayle made me want to explain the meanings of the verses so that she could apply these truths. On the way to school we all talked about it...rather they just listened to me. It is so amazing that God...who doesnt need any of us...who is King of Kings...All Soveriegn...would care about something as insignificant as when I sit or rise, go out or lie down. I asked the kids if they could guess how many hairs I had on my head...they said they didnt know...I said would you like to count them? Isaac gave me a strange look...I said...EXACTLY! You dont want to because you dont CARE! Why would someone who is such a powerful God...CARE about the number of hairs on our head? It just made me really think about the love that God has for me that I am oblivious about...Like the psalmist says...such knowledge is to wonderful and lofty for me to attain...I can't understand it!
We talked about God numbering our days before we were even made! (another death reference!) I am glad that God has a plan for my life before I even was made! Another way that he shows me his love. Of course there is much to ponder in all of those verses. Sometimes I wonder if God is preparing me for something regarding death...which seems scary...but also perfectly appropriate.
I suppose if you lasted through all of this you deserve a congratulations :-) Does anyone else ever feel this way about Gods word? Does it make you weepy too? In a good way!
4 comments:
Yes i Ponder, and yes I get choked up sometimes..I fail miserably as a parent when it comes to family devotions...It's easier with the little ones because bible stories quickly become devotions when we talk, but the big kids hate devotions, hate reading the bible, and won't unless absolutely forced to. It tears me apart sometimes, especially when I think that if I died today, God would die with me in most of my family member's lives (and possibly all as the ones I have hope for are small and have a lot of faith growing to do!)
Thanks for your post Wendy..It's a good reminder that I need to really set aside faith time even if it's for myself and continuing on with my little ones..I pray continually for my big kids, but there is only so much you can do after a certain point of time- pray for them, be a good example to them, give them opportunities to choose the right thing, etc..
Sending New Years Hugs :)
Wow! So powerfully said, Wen. I am happy to hear this report from you.
I struggle with the joy in attending worship .. I do joy in it, but find so many physical problems on Saturday which seem to extend into the Sabbath. It bothers me that Satan fires these darts at me at times when I feel the most vulnerable. So now, when I feel those aches starting on Saturday morning, I start praying that God would relieve me at least until Sabbath afternoon so that I CAN attend worship. Amazing what I have experienced~ especially this past Sabbath. I refused to give in to my aches, sneezing, runny nose.. I knew it was only allergy, but I also knew that Satan took a direct aim at me. So I purposely got in the shower and got myself dressed for church, with the prayer constantly on my lips.. please let me get to the car and to church without giving in. With God by my side, I went and when church was over, the symptoms seemed to disappear. Many things I ponder also.
There is such a visible growth of the Spirit's fruit in your family. This gives me joy too.
It is somewhat refreshing to see spiritual growth in action, not just spoken and dismissed until next Sunday, but lived, discussed, and applied daily.
well done Wendy. It is one of the most wonderful things of all, to have things click "just so". Also-to have Gayle sad because she DIDN'T do devotions. Way to go guys! That is a huge flag of obedience!
PS.I read this the day you posted and then forgot to write a comment. Surry.
PPS. Yes! A get together! Would *LOVE* to...any time is good, though this week is already pretty booked. You tell me and I'll be there. :-)
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